Rip Off: Loneliness

This post is a rip off/my own take of a web comic I came across the other day. It struck close to home. It's a little emo ill admit, but it documents some left out parts of my trip and sums up a lot of my current thoughts on my experiences thus far.

While not all of the pictures are from China, and it doesn't match the comic PERFECTLY, each picture definitely represents I critical point along the way. Most of them I had already taken anyway (ok I stole one of FB, see if you can guess).

For instance the first picture is in Australia, when I split from the group and took a snorkeling trip on my own. It was the day that solidified my want to travel after college (Also to go along with the comic, pre Australia was kind of a dark time in my life.) The picture on the deck is the day before I left. One picture is part of my motivation to get away, while others are of people and places I miss now and again. Still others are just part of day to day life here that I haven't posted anywhere else or that I have been promising that show a bit of where I live. All this will make much more sense paired with the writing and comic. So here goes...

You can see the original comic here http://saraholeksyk.com/loneliness.html It will make 100x more sense if you do.

Loneliness

I've been having these dearms where I am swimming underwater very deep below the surface. Its dark, night time, and as far as I can see there is nothing. Just water and the ocean floor...


It's winter. To0 cold and wet for me to wander outside and my phone is broken (ok not really just super expensive to call anyone)


I don't leave my house much, its the same every day.

Work


Home


Sleep


Work


I live alone. I come home to a dark hallway every night and


wake up on the same side of my bed, in my grove.

Half my pay check (ok a Quarter) goes to rent because I have no roommate. This was a sacrifice I HAD to make for this.

It seems to me that to many people are afraid of being alone, or relatively alone. I can think of a few people who like it as much as I do.

Isolation isn't always loneliness.

Alright, You'll think I am crazy... but I enjoy my own company as much as I enjoy another's. It never seems like I am alone when I am by my self.

There is a constant dialogue as if there is Me and "someone with me".



I don't know if you feel this way or if anyone else does.

And I guess it doesn't matter as long as its their only when I am alone.



I have no idea if this is true, but it seems like most people feel secure when they attach them selves to others. I feel this way too.

But where others feel lost by them selves, I feel secure.



Its a time when I don't worry, I don't lie, I don't regret.

Not always, but I usually like it. A lot.

I've put a lot of thought and work into making my self someone I respect. (and so have others)


And of course I like to be with others and go out and party...




...But when I am alone...


Its a good thing, and I am Happy.

Yes I know that posting this on a blog for people to read is moderately ironic but that's not REALLY the point.